#14 :It's plain useless forgiving someone who does the same mistake again and again.

quarreled with Hilary earlier on, oh anyway we quarreled over smth lame. But the most important part is not what we quarreled about but is about the TRUST. I know ppl out there is going to be like " aiya lame la, quarrel over this" and etc but hey udk anything that is happening so pls don't make so much comments thank you.

Furthermore, i don't even know why i forgive her again and again despite her hurting me times after times. I don't understand, i really don't. It's just not me.

I have no idea who to trust right now and that feeling is just awful 

I have so much to say, really. I know my attitude is like shit. So why should i even expect ppl's attitude to me to be nice too? Fuck it, i don't even know what's wrong with me this few days. I'm getting really upset & angry easily. & i totally have no idea why is this even happening to me... is my period going to visit me real soon...? 

i flared up so easily, i cry easily. i smile easily, I get upset easily too. & i don't think it's something good though? 

I'm feeling so horrible, really just plain fucking horrible. i really want a getaway like real soon, i want to leave this place as long as possible. i don't want to face all this shit again and again. I'm really sick and tired of it. & what's worse is that i don't want ppl to know and I'm not going to reply nor tweet anything. 

i really just can't take it any longer. today wen suddenly asked me if i quarreled with bel I'm like... 😶 i dk what am i suppose to tell her, firstly it's not that i don't trust her or anything. it's just that it's between me and bel and i don't really want to say much about it as I was really feeling so down yet pissed at that period of time and yet idw to affect other ppl's mood at the same time and so I can only act normal in front of then... fucking hell, can die. 

" Nobody to talked to, nobody i can trust. I'm just all alone by myself. " 

on a brighter side it's pay day tmr. i really can't wait, am feeling so broke for this god damn month. oh dear i really wonder how i survived.... it's only 9:37pm and I can't wait to sleep dk why am i feeling so sleepy...

#6 : 是你的就是你的 不是你的就不是你的

been updating my dayre because I'm VERY busy with meet ups & collection of shoes and all the packing + contacting customers and replying to all their questions. Po#1 was really the hardest and tiring batch ever, i guess if i find a better supplier my stuffs won't delayed for so long... furthermore i think my business will earn more $$ but meh... it's ok gdluck to me i hope i will find a btr supplier soonest!

the amount of shoes that arrived.... after i end work on Monday, it was raining heavily!!!!  I rushed to pgl to meet candy and the supplier. thought that we cld nt get our items but we did. so yay  hahahaha after that we took cab and went back to my house to dispatch everything!

and that crazy amount of shoes me and wen have to pack is just crazy but we did it in 2 hours + time right after we get our stuffs!  but some of the items we didn't received, esp vans!!!!!!!  the supplier is driving me crazy!!!!!!
 i need to kill her hahaha just kidding!

after the packing!!!!!!!  congrats to us! i think we are really very fast and efficient. we always keep our customers updated!  am really feeling so happy and contented. but still fk those unreasonable customers, am glad that my customers r all nice ppl!  thank god! i slept at about 1+ on that day.  felt like dying and super sleepy for the whole day of yesterday (since 12am had past)

after we arrange for meet up in a few minutes, we arrange for meet up the next day. i rly think that we r too nice!! (wen keep emphasizing on that) 😕 hmmm... 

thank god we cleared sengkang & serangoon! tmr (later) still need to do meet ups at tampines & pasir ris oh god. 

ok it's already 12:18am i think i typed and update v fast ah. time to sleep now!!!!!! i only spend 12 mins on dayre for such a adventurous post huh????? sorrynotsorry i princess that's why. 

ended work and rushed back home immediately, and I have been doing this for 2 days straight. I can't deny that it is really VERY tiring... but oh well the satisfaction i get after seeing my customers happy and stuffs just makes me feel so much better! 

last day of work tmr for this week! yay  

late night thoughts... I have been thinking SO much, really. i don't even know what the hell does he wants. his post is so contradicting... maybe he is really right??? idk? Regina, just move the fuck on. Idk how long more must i lie...? Acting like i don't love him at all when i still fking do is not easy at all. But meh, I'm here thinking about all this it doesn't mean that he is too. So why am i wasting my time? 

是你的就是你的 不是你的就不是你的， 勉强是不会有幸福的 我宁愿放手 看我们到底是命中注定的吗? 想看看最终你会不会回到我生边来呢? 我看应该不会 哈哈哈 希望你的找到你的幸福 我之前说的只是讲爽的.

#5 : Prove to me that good things come to those who wait.

omg it's already 12:22am. I'm gonna make this really quick and simple yet sweet. So i woke up at 11am yesterday (since 12am had past), and wait for candy to reach. But before that, (the day before yesterday which was initially Saturday i went to collect stocks from my supplier! 15 pairs of new balance, 2 pairs of vans & 1 pair of nike. It was tiring, to carry big plastic bags walking arnd. Traveling all over the world... From sengkang - Hougang - Serangoon - Bishan - Sembawang.... 

3 big boxes that we collected from sembawang.... so many ppl was looking oh god all the stares just creeps me out. 

The amount of shoes for preorder #1!!!  All the shoes looks so pretty ahhhh i want to get one more new balance for myself too  But I'm currently cash tight at the moment.... 

and how after packing looks like. it looks like it is VERY less right? I TELL U ITS NOT THAT LESS & IT IS FKING HEAVY BCOS I JUST EXPERIENCED IT TODAY. CARRYING ABOUT 8 PAIRS OF SHOES ( 4 on left, the other 4 on my right) is just too heavy for me  ARGH!!!! i sweat like free one ok the weather pms for the whole damn day!!!!!!!!  what a bitch totally nvr give mercy one. so we took all that 18 pairs of shoes and head to sengkang first to meet one of my customer. 

when we reached sengkang at about 1+ ( we r late actually) HAHAHA but no one reached so we waited for one of our customer till about 2pm? She is an adult omg hehe yay kinda surprised tho!  Thought that 2 pairs of shoes helped... a lil..... but it was still heavy and while we were waiting for that customer people just can't keep their eyes away from our whole bunch of new balance shoes  annoying kpo Singaporean!!!! 

hehehe wondering why roysious picture is in my post eh? because we took bus 89 to wen's house as there is TOO many bags to take and there's only 2 of us and 4 hands in total only... so yeah. we rested for awhile, before heading out again to pasir ris to meet another customer! 

just look at that bag, it can only store about 8 pairs of shoes?????????  wen took that big Mickey Mouse bag while i take 6 or 7 bags of new balance shoes  - everyone stare again- fuck it hahaha after meeting him we took 88, long bus ride to amk to meet another customer since he paid $5 extra! 

when we reached amk, we wanted to find a place to sit down and also avoid stares so we went to Udon King to have early dinner, the food was not that bad!!  So after that we sat there for quite long, and met 2 customers there! And then we have to rush back to sengkang AGAIN, to meet the other customers at 830pm. 

that last batch of shoes we have to give to our customers at sengkang!!!!!! ahhhhhh tiring. but mehhhhhh we don't want our customers to wait too long! All of them r so nice  It was really a tiring day for us to travel arnd but it was worth it, the journey filled with a lot of nonsense and laughters!  Great day w wen!  See u later again to collect 90 pairs of shoes  god damn it uhhhh ohhhhh 

mum bought this for me too, forgotten to update the other day!! Thank u so much mum!  Ok it's time to sleep! Shall update tmr on what happened last Friday! since i hasn't update yet. Gdn to myself. 

1:03am

" so all along it was just my wishful thinking "

prove to me that good things come to those who wait 

#3: -

I have been updating too less on my personal dayre. Oh god, ok it's like 1:07am right now.  So late, and I'm feeling so sleepy after drinking session at The Pub Entertainment to celebrate Anthony's birthday!  Happy Birthday Anthony, may you have a bless life ahead! Today was kinda fun tho, all thanks to Bryan! And my 'dearest' aunt for saying that I said that guy WAS handsome.  & bryan immediately went to told him!!!!!!!!!!!  IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING OK WTF OH GOD

After that we played smth like true and dare but thr's no true... so ya i lose quite a few times... & was asked to approached that "humsum" Ivan guy and asked for his number.  ok fk i swear it was so awkward, but meh.... i just have to do it. #gurlzupabit HAHAHAHA and yeah his father told me that that is his son and asked us to intro and stuffs. But I didn't get his number YAY LA GUYS  After that my mum came too, and explained that it's a dare.  wooooooooooo 

Thank god for my mum. But his father who is the pub's boss said that he(his son) can be son in law of my mum oh god....  IT WAS EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING BUT LUCKY I WENT BACK ASAP BCOS I CANT STAY THR ANY LONGER HAHAHA. Then while later Bryan asked me to played the dare game again, and so i did. This time, he lost 2 times in a row.  & it's my sweet revenge time.  PUT YOURS HANDS UP GUYS HAHAHA. And so his punishment was kinda funny & cute tho 

I told him to kiss the ivan guy on his forehead  OK GIVE ME A MOMENT TO ABSORB WHAT JUST HAPPENED HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA that Ivan guy was like no no, go away.... then the other guy (checkered shirt guy) idk his name tho... so i just called him checkered shirt guy. & Bryan's 2nd dare was to hug him and be very mushy and stuffs la! But bloody hell he didn't do until that extent  ANNOYING BRYAN IS A BITCH. But pity him also la he kena cake smash for nothing HAHAHHAA 

Ok i update a lot already! it's time to sleep now, it's already 1:18am. & i have to meet customer tmr  hais gdnight i will update again when I'm awake then... hehehehe gdn 

#2 : Maybe i should be blessed?

I'm so sleepy right now.... it's only 12:15am. Ok so I shall just type out what happened earlier on. So.... thank you ryan for trying to "SURPRISE" me but in the end failed to do so. But still thanks for the thought tho!  Appreciate it! While walking to the mrt station he freaking walk and dressed like a duck  I'm sorry but i swear u fking look like one with the umbrella somemore that makes u look even more gay...  hehehehe the journey was somehow quiet.

thanks mum for this anklet, it cost a bomb... about $480!!!!  thanks so much mum, totally shocked and unexpected.

#1 : Everyone lies, no exceptions.

New post, new start. Now I'm all by myself, so great that I can restart everything & now just type everything i want w/o being afraid.

Everybody lies, no exceptions 

" When I am around you nothing else really matters but that moment, you are all that really matters to me. The thought of losing you has become my biggest fear... and I don't ever want that to happen in my life. "